What You Need To Do in Divorce or Custody Cases
There are a lot of processes in procedures that happen in divorce and custody cases. requirements by the court of the city, state, or county your residence. This is not about that. These are a few of the things that you can control about yourself that can make the process easier for you and/or your attorney.
Stay in the conversation
Stay in the conversation, even during difficult times. Be honest and persistent when making requests for yourself and/or your children. This is the most important part of being in the thick of things. You don't want to have a final order where your wishes are not heard.
It is easy to become disillusioned and apathetic especially if you have other people handling your case. However, you should make it clear from the beginning the things your want and the issues you are willing to compromise on in order to come to a resolution.
This means the parameters are clear from the onset and no one is just going through the motions to get the case finished.
Examine your needs
Knowing your needs in an early stage of divorce or custody is critical. You should have an idea of the basic needs as you move forward whether you need a new residence, or need to pay off debts, your basic needs may be changing, if you have children then you have to examine their needs in the transition as well.
Some people accept things in order to "beat" the other person or spouse. However, those things or parameters that your "won" actually don't even fit in your life going forward. It makes no sense to fight over things or parameters that don't fit your needs going forward. If you are seeking alimony or child support, you should be able to give your spouse an amount sufficient to meet your basic needs. Make a list and make note of everything that you think you need. If there are any extra costs, such as time or money for a lawyer, make sure that you have provided a breakdown for those costs.
Talk to a therapist or counselor
There are many things you can do to handle the stress of a divorce or custody case. One way is to talk to a therapist. A therapist has experience helping people through these difficult times. Attorneys are not psychologists or counselors. Although a lot of emotions are involved the attorneys and the judge are not as concerned with the emotional aspects of the process. It is a mistake that most people make. Most therapists have seen and treated people going through a process such as this and are better suited to help you through the process
Don't be disrespectful
There is a saying that you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar. That is true in court as well. The person who is the bigger person in a divorce or custody case will almost always have the upper hand.
Anytime your spouse or the opposing party is behaving in a foolish way it is best to ignore them. Everything you say and the tone you say it may come out in court. It may affect your outcome. Being friendly and courteous will go a long way. Avoid expressions of bitterness or vindictiveness toward your spouse or the opposing party, since these can further compound the problem. It is important to stay focused on the goal.
Don't make rash decisions
Divorce and custody cases are a journey through some of our most trying times. It's normal to feel many emotions during the process. You should not make rash decisions. If you come across as rash or unthoughtful, you could end up exacerbating the situation you are fighting against. Do not make the mistake of assuming your spouse or opposing party wants the same thing that you do. It is often not the case. Divorces and custody battles are often filed based on deeply held personal beliefs that may have been shaped over years and each side has their own agenda as to how things should be run.
A divorce or custody case is not the time to make rash decisions. Make sure you have all of your facts and your needs met before making any decisions about where to go from here. Often in a divorce, you hear stories about how one party made a bad financial judgment and the other party didn't exactly do themselves any favors in making sure that judgment was made correctly. In custody cases, it may be trying to be too controlling or on the opposite end of the spectrum taking a hands-off approach. Which may affect the kind of parenting time you are seeking to have going forwards.
Whatever your reason, it's important that you take time to think things through and do what's best for you. You don't have to come up with a new plan immediately, and you shouldn't rush things just because everything feels ""usless"". This is especially true if you have children.
Should you have questions or want to discuss your particular issue give us a call at (404) 654-3782 or visit our website at www.juittjacksonlaw.com to set an appointment.